Can you STOP junk mail?

We not only receive junk mail addressed to us "or the current resident," but we still receive mail addressed to adult children who left home more than a decade ago. That was understandable, if a little strange.

But, then, the situation became compounded last year when we began receiving junk mail for relatives who have been deceased.

How do you make it stop? Can you?

Since my mother-in-law's death last summer, we now receive catalogs and requests for donations addressed to her. And we get mail addressed to other members of the family who have been dead for more than 10 years.

Our postal carrier started to park in front of our home to lug the daily mail to our door. I was afraid to face him, concerned he'd be wearing a back brace one morning.

So, in the fall, before the holidays, I visited a dozen or more company websites, requesting certain junk mailings to stop. Would they listen? I wasn't sure. It was a test.

If an email response came from the company, it usually stated that since they print catalogs in advance, we may still receive one or more mailings before our request would take affect.

There was no hope for the mail carrier through the holidays.

We piled unsolicited materials in a box. After the first of the year, I vowed to try again.
 This year, it took us longer than usual to take down the tree and put away relics of family festivities.

Now that it is February, I'm hoping to stem the flow of unsolicitate sales materials to our home addressed to us and a host of other people, living and dead.

How do you stop receiving unwanted mail? Does it ever stop? Will it when you ask? If a company representative tells you they print sales materials in advance so you may still receive one or more mailings before this change takes affect, do you believe them? And does it stop?

Can you look your mail carrier in the eye and say, "I tried to do something kind to you, to me and the environment today"?

On "Overcoming Barriers to Forgiveness"

"Apology and forgiveness are essential to healthy marriages," Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts) shared in a recent Focus on the Family radio broadcast, "Overcoming Barriers to Forgiveness 1."

Apology and forgiveness are important in all our relationships.

None of us is perfect. Offenses happen. And the road toward forgiveness and reconciliation can be more complicated and take more time than saying, "I'm sorry."


Have you ever offended someone, apologized, and still experienced barriers in the relationship? Apologizing may not be enough to restore a relationship if it isn't what the offended person needs to hear, explained Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas, authors of The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships.

There are different ways to apologize. More importantly, there are different expectations people have for when they believe an apology is sincere. So, unless the words and expressions meet another's expectations, the apology may not be healing, no matter how sincere. 
 
Interesting thought.

If you're looking for practical information on this subject, I'd highly recommend listening to two pod casts where Chapman and Thomas share important insights into a timeless and important issue for all of us who have ever offended someone we care about:

Overcoming Barriers to Forgiveness 1

Overcoming Barriers to Forgiveness 2

In brief, Chapman and Thomas said the five apology languages are different ways someone thinks another should apologize if they are really sincere:

1. Expressing regret ("I'm sorry." And tell them what you're sorry for.)
2. Accepting responsibility ("I was wrong.")
3. Making restitution ("What can I do to make this right with you?")
4. Genuinely repenting (by planning to change) ("What I'm going to do to change the plan so this situation may never happen again.")
5. Requesting forgiveness ("Please forgive me.")

So, is this a formula for success? Does practicing these five languages of apology guarantee forgiveness? Not at all, the authors conceded. Forgiveness is a gift, not a right.


So, why learn apology languages? If you value a relationship, why not learn to communicate an apology in a way that expresses sincerity to the offended person? Effective communication can bring healing where barriers once existed.

What do you need to hear for an apology to bring healing? Respond in the comments.

No winner for Kathi Macias' book Deliver Me From Evil

Public announcement: No winner of the book drawing.

There was no winner for a copy of Kathi Macias' book Deliver Me From Evil.  Since the only commenters were the author and a representative of the blog tour, who should not be eligible for such a drawing, no drawing was held.

So, I still have the review copy of the book. I plan to offer it as a free book to a commenter who is not the author or a member of the blog tour at a later date. Watch for details.

So, if you're reading this blog and wondered, you may still have an excellent chance to receive a copy of Kathi Macias' book Deliver Me From Evil. 

Related Posts: Author Interview: Deliver Me From Evil 

Question for discussion: Have you ever offered something for free and didn't have any takers? What did you do?

Sharing lives and homes across generations

It's not uncommon for families to live together.

When a baby comes home from the hospital, he may move into a home with two parents and older siblings. Aunts and uncles, grandparents -- relatives and family friends -- all welcome him. They hold him and cherish him, when they can, if only during short visits from across town or from across the country.

Babies around the world grow up in a multi-generational home.

In recent decades in our country, boot-camp or college dorm-life may be a young adult's first immersion in a predominately single-generation living experience. It's become part of the American Dream for many young people to grow up and become separate financially and socially from their parents and grandparents. They move out and on to set up their own apartments or homes. And many may someday embrace a new generation in their lives and homes.

This wasn't always how families expected to live. In many eras and locations, generations shared lives and homes. And they still do, in one way or another. But economics are changing realities again in big and little ways.

In recent years, the economy, staggering student debt, and limited job prospects have changed the affordability of independent living for millions of young adults, if only temporarily.

American families have responded to new economic realities by opening hearts, lives and homes.

How are we doing it? I'd like to exchange tips and stories.

Perhaps you know someone who lives with parents or with adult children. I do. We do.

I'm interested in getting a dialog going on how we manage to share lives, fortunes and homes across generations. We can learn a lot from one another.


How do you share living situations across generations with love and respect?

Author Interview: Deliver Me From Evil, by Kathi Macias

How did you come up with the idea for Deliver Me From Evil and the Freedom series?

It actually came out of a phone conversation with Andrea Mullins, the publisher at New Hope. We were discussing the Extreme Devotion series (about the persecuted Church), which I was still working on at the time, and we began to consider topics for a second series. Andrea was the one who suggested human trafficking, and it really struck a chord with me. The more I researched it and worked on the proposal, the more excited I became about joining forces with others working to abolish modern-day slavery, which is exactly what human trafficking is.

What was your favorite scene to write in Deliver Me From Evil?

This book/series has been the most difficult I’ve ever written, simply because the subject matter is so dark and heavy. More than once I had to walk away and clear my thoughts before moving on from one scene to another. But interspersed between the heartache and tragedy are several lighter scenes (written and incorporated into the book out of necessity), dealing with a pastor’s family and their Bible college-bound son who inadvertently discovers the human trafficking ring and becomes involved in the heroic and dramatic rescue attempt. Any scenes revolving around the absolutely functional and loving life of the Flannery family are my favorites.

What was the most difficult scene, and why?

There were many difficult scenes in this book due to the subject matter, but the hardest had to be when the main character, 18-year-old Mara, realizes that one of the younger girls is being tortured and killed in an effort to extract information and punish her. Though the actual violence is done offstage, Mara experiences each blow and muffled scream, as does the reader.

Did you always know you wanted to be a writer? If not, how did you catch the writing bug?

Oh yes, I never wanted to be anything else. From the time I discovered the power and allure of words, I was hooked! I was an avid reader before I started kindergarten. A short story I wrote in the third grade was turned into a play for the entire PTA, and I won all sorts of awards for poetry in high school. I even told my then boyfriend (now husband) Al when we were in our early teens that I was going to be a writer one day.

How do you go about writing your fiction books? Which comes first for you, plot, characters, and/or theme?

I usually get what I call “a niggling in my soul,” which eventually emerges into the very basic theme of the book. I hate outlining and writing proposals because I do NOT develop plots or even characters ahead of time. I start with a couple of main characters, a starting and ending point for my story, and just let the rest unfold as I go. I know. We’re not supposed to do it that way, but it works for me, and I so enjoy the surprises as the story develops and my characters take over. So much fun! So long as they don’t try to lead me away from my pre-determined ending. Then I have to reign them back in a bit.

How do you get your ideas for your books?

Kathi Macias

I have ideas coming out of my ears! I am a seriously addictive idea person. You want ideas? You can have my overflow! My challenge is to figure out which ones are worth pursuing. Not every cute or fun or even meaningful idea that pops into our head is meant to be a book. I pray, think, study, bounce them off people, etc., before committing to moving ahead with one of them. For the most part, however, nearly all my book ideas are, to one degree or another, born out of some moral or social issue that I care about.

How can we find out more about you, The Freedom Series, and other books you are writing?

Please visit my website at KathiMacias.com.

Free book: I will be giving away my review copy of this book to a randomly selected commenter. Check back next Friday to see the winner.

I was given a complimentary copy of this book from the author in exchange for posting the author’s interview on my blog. This blog tour is managed by Christian Speakers Services (ChristianSpeakersServices.com).